I write because I can’t sleep.

Sometimes I can't get things off my mind and they keep me up at night. Here are some things I've wanted to stop thinking about....

Perfect Deviled Eggs Start with Steaming, Not Boiling

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Simple secret makes egg shells peel perfectly … In the American South, deviled eggs are nearly a contact sport. I know a pair of sisters who maintained a seventeen-year fued over paprika. (Don’t ask.) Indeed, many a church supper’s been silently plagued with pride, envy, gluttony, covetousness, perhaps even inklings of lust over deviled eggs. […]

Got Pets? What You Must Do If One Dies

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Take this step to allow your pets to properly grieve … My father’s dogs were fiercely protective of him. We’d managed to keep Dad at home during his last days, in a hospital bed we set up in the front room, and when he died we were worried how the dogs would react to strangers […]

Calm Down, Everybody, the UFO’s Are NOT Extra-Terrestrials

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Let’s all take a step back on this ET thing … Ever since government records were released earlier this month concerning “unidentified aerial phenomena”, more commonly known as unidentified flying objects or UFOs, America has oh so predictably done what it does best — plunge headfirst right down a rabbit hole of pure nonsense. Now I know […]

That Time Bob Dylan Lost a Million-Dollar Guitar

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Then refused to take it back — twice … Sometime in 1966 Bob Dylan lost a million-dollar guitar — and when the finder phoned up, couldn’t be bothered to get it back. The guy on the other end of the line was New Jersey charter pilot Vic Quinto. He moved a lot of Albert Grossman’s talent and […]

Does the Jan. 6th “Tourists” Congressman Supply Guns to Criminals?

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Rep. Clyde’s IRS dust-up raises questions … During a May 12th, 2021, US Congressional hearing, an obscure Georgia representative leapt to international infamy with a lie so colossal it made headlines around the world, even in this jaded post-Trump era. Speaking of the January 6th riot at the US Capitol, Andrew Clyde of Athens, GA, […]

Hell Yeah I Went to Walmart in My Pajamas

By Paul Thomas Zenki

An old fart learns to lighten up … A while back, I saw a tweet that said: I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or are living it to the fullest. That little sentence crawled into my head like an earwig and stuck there. It became my Zen […]

The World’s Most Powerful Blogging Hack, from Disney’s Imagineers

By Paul Thomas Zenki

How one shift in your thinking solves multiple problems … My first full-time job in public relations was with Walt Disney World in the late ’80s and early ’90s. It was grunt-level stuff, but what I learned there would fuel my career as a copywriter and ghostwriter up to today. Now I’m not talking about “tips […]

How to Accept (and Decline) an Invitation in the South

By Paul Thomas Zenki

In the South, etiquette is a game of chess … Lots of folks are moving to the South these days, and I’m gonna do all y’all transplants a big favor. You can thank me later. There’s a lot that goes unspoken down here, so it’s real easy to screw up and not be aware of […]

In Search of the Hysterical Jesus

By Paul Thomas Zenki

The lighter side of Jesus of Nazareth … When comedian Alan King was asked “What is the essence of Jewish humor?” he answered with a story. A guy’s having lunch at a Jewish deli. He flags down the waiter and says, “Taste the soup.” The waiter asks, “Is something wrong?” “Taste the soup.” “Is it […]

How I Taught Myself to Lucid Dream, and Lived to Regret It

By Paul Thomas Zenki

The perks and pitfalls of mindful dreaming … I was still a little boy when I became terrified of falling asleep. You see, I was being murdered in my dreams. Sometimes, my stalker was me. Looking back, I think it was the onset of an early adolescence that triggered the nightmares. My old self had […]