How (Not) to Make a Proper Tortilla Española

By Paul Thomas Zenki

What you leave out means as much as what you put in … There are three sides in a triangle. Four gospels in the New Testament. And five ingredients in a tortilla española. Eggs (5), potatoes (3), onions (2), olive oil and salt. Nothing more, nothing less. Así se hace, so it is done. Back […]

Why “Fish Don’t Fry in the Kitchen”

By Paul Thomas Zenki

And who grills beans anyway? … A rolling stone gathers no moss. A watched pot never boils. Fish don’t fry in the kitchen. And beans don’t burn on the grill. It is known. But wait, hold the phone a sec. Of course fish fries in the kitchen. Where else are you gonna fry it, the […]

Why a Biblical Priest Dismembered a Concubine

By Paul Thomas Zenki

And shipped the pieces all over Israel … Surely you recall the story from Sunday school: A rural priest is traveling across Israel with a member of his harem. They stop over in a town where the young woman is gang raped and beaten to death. So the priest cuts her body into a dozen […]

14 Extremely Useful English Words You Probably Don’t Know

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Once you know them, you can’t forget them — even if you want to … Some words, when you learn them, you wonder how you ever got along without them. And sometimes, there’s just no right word when you need one, so you have to make your own. These 14 words fall into both categories for me. […]

1st Rule of Trump Club Is: Never Stop Lying

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Because the fight is never over … Damned if I didn’t stumble across yet another article today by yet another befuddled onlooker wondering why in the hell Matt Gaetz doesn’t just hang it up and go home. Nobody likes the guy, even in his own party. And after all, it costs a person exactly nothing […]

Southern Pecan Pie: A Personal History

By Paul Thomas Zenki

This recipe is easier than it used to be … When I was a little boy, a pecan pie was a helluva lot of work. Especially for the kids. I was born on the Florida panhandle in what used to be a fishing village, but grew up in a Georgia mill town. Our house stood […]

What “Bless Your Heart” Really Means in the South

By Paul Thomas Zenki

If you think you know, you don’t … Lord have mercy, if I have to hear another Yankee say that “bless your heart” is Southern for “you’re an idiot” — or worse — I think I might just blow a gasket. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t entirely blame non-Southerners for this misunderstanding. I have a sneaking suspicion […]

How to Roast Savory Sweet Potatoes

By Paul Thomas Zenki

Everyone asks for this recipe … There’s this one dish that I know, if I haven’t made it for someone yet, they’re gonna ask for the recipe once they taste it. It’s that good. And you can serve it with just about anything, frankly. It’s totally vegan but makes a great side for meats, a […]

Bet You Can’t Name Half the 10 Commandments

By Paul Thomas Zenki

No peeking, now … How much would you bet you can name at least 5 of the 10 Commandments? I’ll give you two-to-one odds. Tell you what, let’s bust it down to three. Only three. You don’t have to get them verbatim, either, the general idea is close enough. Think you can do it? OK, […]

This Pick-Your-Bean Dish Goes with Most Anything

By Paul Thomas Zenki

It’ll become your go-to, trust me… My older brother showed me this recipe sometime back in the ’90s and since then I must have cooked it hundreds of times. Thing is, it’s easy enough to fix as a home staple — I like to make a sizeable batch on the weekend and use it as side through […]